I’ve been thinking lately about my friend Bob, who died during the summer of 1992. Bob was a friend who had a marvelous capacity for figuring out how to take care of himself. During a particularly rough period that year, Bob approached me with an important message: "I came to tell you to be kind to yourself," he said. I remember thinking "but I don't know how to do that." So decided that learning to be kind to myself would be a good theme for the year.
Then, a couple of days ago, I was talking to one of my favorite people and I felt moved to repeat Bob's message. She said, "How do you do that?" I said it starts with accepting yourself. I was still thinking about that question the next day, and Bob's message. I don't claim to really know anything. I've learned some things this year about being kind to myself. Here they are:
Go to meetings as often as you need to. Stay home as often as you need to. Socialize. Spend time alone. Be nice to your body. Laugh whenever you can. Cry when you need to. Take time to breathe. Take time to sit. Pray. Meditate. Love God. Love yourself, and if you can't, act as if you can. Set and maintain your boundaries. Be nice to people, it comes back to you. Accept compliments, and just say, "thank you." Rest when you need to. Accept your feelings. Accept your fears. Enjoy your triumphs. Enjoy people. Listen to music. Hold still sometimes. Pet your cat (or dog). Smile at someone you don't know. Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff. Remember you are worthy. Keep it simple. Dance whenever possible. Read your favorite book as often as you like. Keep your sense of humor, and use it. Say something nice to someone. Go for walks. Offer yourself the same compassion you offer everyone else.
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